I hope you can help me accept that my adult son doesn’t like me — and stop feeling so worn down and questioning myself from his disdainful comments.
Overall, he’s a great person — just out of college, landed a good job, and is kind to other people. He and his girlfriend are staying with me for a few months as they get settled and look for an apartment.
I talked to him last winter about being rude and judgmental, so he’s more polite, but cold. He is warmer when we go out to breakfast every few weeks and sometimes when the whole family is together. But as a rule, seems I’m the thorn in his life.
Which is understandable, since I did things as a mom that must have hurt and made him wary of me — control, anger and power struggles. We’ve talked about that, he’s accepted my apology, and I’ve done significant therapy so I no longer feel or act in the same way — confirmed by his sister’s comments.
One more piece is that his dad died when he was a teen, but he was pretty pulled-back well before that, from both me and my late husband. The family has been pretty active in the grieving process, so that’s not a concern.
I understand I can’t expect to be liked by everyone, but still … I take his attitude so personally. It’s a familiar sensation, since I grew up expecting to be judged.